Infidelity « Dowhatyoulike’s Blog

Infidelity

Where is the line to be drawn when it comes to infidelity?

Is it when the relationship includes sex?

If you are connected to another person,have feelings like you want to know everything about this person,is it infidelity if this person is not the one you are married to?

If the person is of same sex,it’s no doubt,you are just very good friends,right?

But,will the line / limit be the same if the person is of oposit sex?

Anyone??

I think this question is a lot harder to answer than you might first think, and really depends on the couple. I recently read Dan Savage’s book The Commitment and then a few other writings on the topic of monogamy, fidelity, non-monogamy, and infidelity. Gay male couples (and some straight couples) don’t necessarily define fidelity by sexual exclusivity. It is the emotional commitment to their partner that they find the most compelling. However I think some are comforted by monogamy, finding that sexual exclusivity is the bellwether for a healthy relationship. However that might not be the case and it is a facade for problems that lie beneath the relationship. My point here is that there are different understandings about fidelity between different people and among different couples, and what works or is appropriate for one couple might not work for another. The most important part of broaching the touchy subject of fidelity is good communication. An individual in a couple needs to let their partner know where they feel comfortable placing the boundary of the relationship. If a husband is getting too emotionally close to a female coworker then that needs to be addressed. It’s not necessarily that the relationship needs to change, but that discussing the relationship can enhance the level of trust and understanding within the couple. Fear and recriminations are one of the greatest threats to the health of a couple.

gaytodecember 3.15.09 / 10pm

dowhatyoulike 3.16.09 / 5am

Hmmm…..as you might understand…,i’m not used to express myself in english.I need some time to reply.. (“,)

Questions on Infidelity « From Gay to December 3.23.09 / 12am

[...] posed several questions about infidelity and how we defined it. You can see their original post here. In responding to the post I ended up writing a comment that could almost stand alone. I [...]

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Infidelity

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